Zayera’s Aphorisms

Every day is an opportunity to be better: a better person, a better friend, partner, sibling, or work colleague. As long as I live and breathe, I will continue to be better.

Some days, I dislike being born a human being due to the limitations in my physical and mental form. Those days, I have to remind myself that I did not choose to be born.

I did not select the form of a Human Being.

The universe, God, chance, or whatever you believe in.

You appeared in this form/format for reasons unknown.

Just bear with it.

Time is limited, and yet time is all we have.

Time is an invented concept for our brain to help us understand, make sense of, and categorize happenings.

Time is. Time you cannot control. Understand the concept of time, but don’t let it limit you or your actions.

Don’t fear time. For time is existence.

We all strive for love. We need and crave love. We cannot exist without love. Love yourself. Truly express love to anyone dear to you: your family, friends, anyone you care about. Any act of caring is an act of love. Choose who you love and who you care for. Love is not constant, either.

It requires effort and action. Yet Love can exist without any effort and requires nothing except feelings.

The best way to manage yourself is to understand your energy.

How your energy fluctuates during a day and a week.

How can you be a morning person and have the most energy?

How can you be a night owl and be the most productive at night?

How are you the most motivated to exercise first thing in the morning?

Or when you need to snack to give yourself “brain fuel.”

How do you refuel and rest to build up your energy?

Or how the mode goes into sleep mode to recover when you are low on energy.

Which characters possess you? You have some characters in you, and you can use them to help guide yourself and the people around you. Have fun with the characters and use them to aid and support the areas you need to improve.

Some of my characters are the cookie monster, the happy or snappy, the dictator, the project manager, the planner, the obnoxious comedian, the walker, the explorer, the traveler, the hausfrau, the flirtatious lover.

Many believe that work is everything; it creates an identity of the self and who you are. However, you are not only your work character. You have needs, desires, and ambitions that supersede your work life. Be a natural person, not just a workaholic or someone who only focuses all their interests on “work.”

Human beings’ most vital talent and skill is that of creation. We have been created, and we want to create. Our lifelong purpose is creation; for some people, procreation is “creation,” as many wish to have children and find the most meaningful purpose – being a parent. For others, creating something from scratch only with an idea, a thought, or a feeling is pure joy and a purpose for existing.

Creativity and striving for creation are expressed differently for each of us, a noticeable trait for US human beings.

My body loves movement. I need to walk every day and take my inner dog out for its daily walk; otherwise, I will be miserable and start barking. Find the movement that suits your body and do it daily, whether long or hard, as long as you listen and follow the signals your body delivers.

What causes stress in you and stresses you out? The quicker you can identify your stress factors, the faster you find a solution. Identify stress factors, find a solution to these, and minimize your daily stress.

Love and care about yourself.

I have been forced to deal with my stress factors for health reasons. I am a terrible person during certain types of stress. But in other stressful situations, I am very sensible and calm.

We all have individual reactions and triggers to what we perceive as a “stressful situation.” Identify the causes of your stress and live a more tranquil life.

Instead of feeling bad about your distractions, observe these. Why do you need to be distracted? Are you bored? Are you mentally overwhelmed or emotionally challenged? Are you feeling uncomfortable and need to find a soothing practice?

Distractions are part of our human nature. Every living creature reacts to distractions, even so you. Choose your distractions and be conscious about them.

When I sleep, I am fortunate enough to have remarkable dreams. In my dreams, I have experienced the universe in unimaginable ways. How amazing it is to dream!

My dreams help and guide me, revealing my imagination and an unconventional approach and perspective of reality. Dreams evoke emotions and process whatever my brain is pondering upon.

Dreams are a fantastic source of inspiration and revelations.

If you want only one piece of advice from me, be adventurous. No matter how little cash or time you have, just do something. Sure, be mindful and cautious.

One does not have to be reckless while being adventurous.

One of the most essential factors in life quality is your health. I have learned to prioritize my health the hard way through battling with illnesses and strange symptoms growing up with Malaria as a child and being sick with the weirdest symptoms due to tick infections as an adult.

No matter how bad, sick, or ill you feel one day, the next day is slightly better. Your mood will shift, and no condition will be forever (as forever is time indefinite).

Death is not to be feared. I don’t know why, but as a child, I never feared death, perhaps because I was religious and had a strong faith. I did have some years in my early 30s when I suddenly was afraid of dying and death. Luckily, I ditched that fear and returned to my default state, “fearless of death.”

Fear of death is just precisely that, a FEAR. We will all die one day. Regardless of your beliefs, this one fact is undeniable.

Make the most of your life, and please do not spend it being afraid; that wastes your limited time and energy.

Freedom is a right. Freedom is a human privilege. Freedom to be, choose, and make choices. It is our right and our privilege.

Be aware of your freedom; cherish it.

Do not limit others’ freedom of choice either.

I have heard from people that I am bold and courageous. I only strive to be myself. Just being myself, but even that is hard in the world. Expectations and limitations from others. These expectations and limitations affect us from an early age of childhood until adulthood. The social game we live in as human beings in a society—such pressure and social stigma. Some of us learn early on to be ourselves through life’s challenges. I hope to be truthful to myself through all aspects of life. But I can tell you this: I had episodes when I felt a vast alienation, not wanting to be a human being. Which is why I call myself the “vagabond alien.” When most alienated, I prefer to be a rock, a stone, or something without “feeling” or the pressure of being a human.

I see myself as a rock when I do not want to be a human being for whatever reason, in a challenging situation, or burdened by strong emotions. I’m just a rock – being – without being affected too much by everything happening around me. Nothing can affect me or hurt me. The idea of being a diamond comes from endurance. A diamond is shaped through intense pressure and surpasses time.

Words can never replace actions. Your actions or inactions matter and have a cause & effect.

Actions are the foundation of all aspects of development in any living creature.

Please keep focus on action and take action every day.

Charitable work has a rich history, dating back to the earliest civilizations, and has transformed societies and people’s lives, creating a fairer world for all. In my Islamic tradition, we follow the practices of Zakat, Sadaqah, and charity. Charity is not only limited to providing financial assistance but also involves showing care and consideration towards others. Our social responsibility is to assist those in need through our actions, not just financially but also through acts of kindness.

During my first 50 years, I created rules and habits to live by. As a northern star, these habits help me make my life healthier and do not require too much thinking effort.

The purpose of habits and rules is to automate actions in your daily life. You do it without an action that takes a lot of energy, burdens you, or requires strong motivation.

Habits support and make life easier.

We need to change the idea of “wealth” and aim for a broader concept of well-being and happiness.

We must design our societies with values that recreate a balanced planet for all living creatures. Aiming for money and materialistic wealth will not make you happy in the long term, nor will this planet be a better place for all living creatures.

How can you redefine happiness and what richness means to you?

Values that matter to you change over time. Values are connected with well-being, feeling, prosperity, and happiness.

Do you know your values?

How do you show these values in actions and words?

I show my values every day in every single aspect of life.

Sometimes, it feels like mere existence is a valuable cause, as is being able to be myself and stand for who I am.

My most important value is freedom.

Embrace fearless speech and speak the truth.

Guided by a sense of duty for the common good, even if it means taking significant personal risk.

Can we speak truth, foster openness, and hold ourselves accountable in our duties to our societies?

Every day, I think about reducing stress. Can I always control my stress consciously? No, I cannot, but I can be aware. Awareness has led me to understand myself better.

Can you affect your environment and reduce the stress you feel and perceive?

Figure out what activates your brain and how to manage attention and focus.

As a child, I was fascinated by brain function and read a lot. No wonder I chose to study cognitive science; even though I did not become a scientist, I still cultivate the mindset of trying out hypotheses, falsifying them, and finding evidence for cause and effect.

I have learned never to compare myself with others.

It is my life, mistakes, learnings, and progress.

No obligations, no demands, from anyone.

Society, schools, our parents, and people around us talk about winning and being winners.

But no one prepares a child or a person for failure—disappointment in the form of failing an exam or a significant competition. As an adult, the burden of failures grows exponentially, failing in your own eyes, in the eyes of your parents and family, your partner, your friends, and your work colleagues. Every person around you has expectations and is cheerful and happy when you WIN. However, WE need the most support and comfort when we fail. Whatever the reason or circumstances for failure, we must learn how to deal with failure. We have to accept failure and not diminish our worth or identities.

In my personal experience, what I have been doing since 2007 is failing repeatedly and trying to learn from failure in all aspects of life. In my relationships, friendships. Failing at work. I will not tell you how not to fail, but I will not judge you if you do fail. Failing is part of our development and a step in the learning process of understanding yourself and your context. It does not matter WHY you failed or WHOM you failed. If you fail, just learn to deal with it and be aware of any strategies that run on default.

I love to laugh and be funny. Having fun and laughing are two of our most profound instincts when it comes to dealing with ourselves.

When I make someone laugh or enjoy laughter, I feel close to that person. A special bond is created, and we have a moment of joy.

I aim to be supportive. I strive and hope to have supportive people who lift, cheer, and root for me. Who show me their support when I need it.

Who can you support, and how?

My body is my temple. Your body is your temple.

Always treat your body with the utmost respect, honor, and love.

I have seen so many people mistreat themselves and their bodies.

Self-destructiveness is an act of hatred towards oneself.

Know your boundaries and cherish these boundaries.

Feel what your body wants and needs—nourishment, caring, and loving.

This is a triggering question for any immigrant or a person who, for whatever reason, has been upheaved from their roots and relocated to another city, region, country, or continent.

Where am I from? From my mother’s womb.

The geographical location is irrelevant but is an identity marker enabling others to understand our past. However, the question needs to make space to comprehend my past or the reasoning behind why my ancestry or parents happened to be in a particular geographical location at the time of my birth.

Where am I from? The mystery of life and the universe itself.

A trajectory is wanted and desired, a sense of direction—an illusion of control. To be headed in some direction, have a path, or visualize a path is a strong motivator for most of us.

All self-improvement “mantras” dictate a visualization of a better future where you are happier and more content with yourself.

I would like to question the quest for direction.

I believe in “progress” as a transition for change but not a compulsory goal that must occur as a self-fulfillment. Change is often invisible, but it still happens. Awareness is the key. Use awareness as a tool to understand your direction and endeavors. Direction is a synonym for “change”.